Pre-Med School Jitters

I will first clear the air and make it known that I opted to take a gap year after completing CAPE and before starting Med School, a decision I haven't regretted to this day.

This year has been filled beyond capacity with wholesome love and growth. I have been consistently challenged and pushed to be greater. The skill set I have gained makes me even more prepared to handle the challenges of university, more so those specific to Med School. Research skills, writing techniques and critical thinking were all demanded each day, staples I've learnt to apply to every situation.

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Having said that I must say that I am at a place that is a bit hard to explain. One in which you find yourself anxious to move on to the next chapter while also conflictingly nostalgic. In hindsight I think generally speaking I can say that  this year went by relatively quickly. However these last two months seem to be dragging its feet.

As much as I enjoyed my work experience and building my professional career whilst also seizing the opportunity to incorporate  health and science, medicine is where my heart is (literally). I imagine the beaming smile that would plaster my face when I finally get to wear that infamous white coat and get my pin at the Matriculation Ceremony in September. It's as if my heart is already swollen with joy and my soul is at peace, I guess that might be the sense of realization that this is exactly where I need to be.

This realization did not come likely though, it was an extremely difficult journey to get here. Before making the definitive decision to study at the University of the West Indies, I contemplated pursuing my medical studies in Cuba at the Latin American School of Medicine, ELAM. Listening to what my heart was trying to tell me required extreme amounts of soul searching and prayer. Living up to the expectations of those trusted around me added to the internal conflict constantly plaguing my being. Such an important decision which had the power to dictate my future, 'international complications' is the phrase an equally concerning and caring professor used when trying to advise me. In as much as I believe that God will never lead you where his grace is not sufficient enough to keep you, the question remained "Where does God want me to be?".

Oftentimes, the voice you should listen to is the faintest one.

Personally, one of the main bible verses I hold on to closely and apply to every aspect of my life is Proverbs 3:6 KJV "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths". It was no surprise that as I looked to God, He directed my steps and revealed what was the right decision. So here I am, at peace with myself, trusting God's will and following his lead.

During this year off I was also able to capitalized on every opportunity to talk to medical doctors, medical students and knowledgeable educators and persons in the field of medicine. In as much as I did get a good idea of how much work it is going to be, the excitement and anticipation just grew. I still have many questions that I suspect will only be answered once I start my journey. The hunger for knowledge continues to drive my interest and peak my curiosity.

The sense of pride, accomplishment and gratitude I feel for being able to discover what I am truly passionate about and actually having the opportunity to chase that passion, is truly a blessing.


Now the only question that pervades me is, what colour should my stethoscope be?

Source: Pixabay